Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
