i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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