he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
