ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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