Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
