So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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