what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
