On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
