peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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