So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
