I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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