Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
