So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The best revenge is premature balding
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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