One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
