Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
