He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
