i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
