It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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