ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
