Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
