I wannas sexs uuuuu
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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