I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
