umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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