so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so let's talk penis.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
