I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
