The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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