How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
