Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Your penis caused this!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
