grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
