if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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