party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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