you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
