Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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