just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
