Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
