Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
