I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
