I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
