What a fucking waste of an outfit
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
