K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
