Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
