Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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