When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
