Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
