Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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