Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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