I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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