My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
there is glitter all over my balls
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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