so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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