i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
