Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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