Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
